Laser Hair Removal Lies | Happel Laser Hair Removal

Laser Hair Removal Lies | Happel Laser Hair Removal

Laser Hair Removal’s Little White Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

Happel laser hair removal articles are pearls of knowledge to help you get what you want. This article will give you more inside information to help you get rid of your unwanted hair at the least price in the safety of a doctor’s office.

We’ll help you avoid the minefield of marketing promises.

We’ll discuss laser hair removal marketing tactics and provide valuable references.

How Laser Hair Removal Package Marketing Really Works

Does the above sub title borrowed from Mark Twain arouse your curiosity about laser hair removal marketing?

Why Do Med Spas and Laser Chains Soft Soap Everything?

Just Gimme Some Truth – John Lennon

Laser hair removal chains and med spas use euphemisms to describe the people that they treat and the laser treatments themselves.

Euphemisms are Like Little White Lies.

The Free Dictionary defines euphemism as:  

A mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.

They can be understatements. An example is saying, “We are downsizing” instead of “We are firing people.” Another example is someone saying that a person is “asleep” to a child referring to someone who is dead.


Unwanted hair is not a disease. The laser is a medical instrument initially designed to treat disease. Therefore, using a medical instrument for an aesthetic procedure, which is not a disease, is the quandary.

How About Some Talk about Laser Hair Removal in Plain English?

That confuses people. 

Not calling a person a patient when a laser is used is confusing.

Patient is a term perceived as being unpleasant. After all, a patient is sick or has a disease.

This euphemistic approach tends to put people’s guard down terms to downplay the seriousness of the laser procedure.

Laser Hair Removal chains are afraid to say the word, patient.

Instead, they call the people who come in for laser hair removal treatments as:

  • Customers
  • Guests  
  • Patrons
  • Clients

Guests? … Really?

When did a guest at your house ever pay you?

Victim? Hmmmm.

These terms are substitutions for the medical term, patient. Why are they attempting to transform a medical procedure with a laser into something more exotic like a spa treatment?

These are terms of attempted genteelism. They are disingenuous.

What is the Intention Laser Hair Removal Centers of Using These Euphemisms?

People don’t take laser treatments seriously. They don’t see it as a medical procedure. That leads people to fall into the trap of thinking, “So if a doctor is not in the building, so what?”

Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Neumann so eloquently stated, “What me worry?” He had a devil-may-care attitude.

Those who are not aware of what laser treatments truly involve often take this approach.

More Euphemisms Used by Med Spas and Laser Chains

Let’s take their double-talk it to the extreme. How about if being called from the waiting room as, “We are ready for the next distinguished beneficiary of laser depilation.”

Let’s examine some other laser hair removal complaints.

Laser Hair Removal Chains Top Ten Complaints – Happel Laser

Appropriate euphemisms for the typical laser chain employee would be sales honcho or vendor or just plain salesperson. These businesses use marketing people who are trained to upsell. Marketing experience is required at laser chains and spas.

For example, guarantees are carefully protected with fine print restrictions. Any tanning voids these carefully worded and difficult to achieve guarantees. Two areas for the price of one incorporating that trite sales cliché, BOGO, takes this term to new heights after front-loading their original prices for the service.

Laser Hair Removal Pain

The word, pain, never appears anywhere in spa or laser hair removal center treatment marketing descriptions.

Discomfort, hot sensation and tolerable are often the euphemisms used in marketing laser hair removal.

Pain is very subjective. People have different pain thresholds. A few very sensitive people have described laser hair removal as unbearable. Some say it feels like a rubber band hitting the skin or a bee sting. It also depends on the area that is treated.

Please read our recent Happel laser hair removal treatment article entitled Laser Hair Removal Pain – A Coward’s Guide to learn more.

10 Laser Hair Removal Tips to Avoid Pain | The Coward’s Guide

Sometimes premedication with over the counter pain relievers is helpful.

Statistics show that numbing creams must be used with extreme caution since more than one person has died from an overdose of lidocaine before laser hair removal. Therefore, numbing creams cannot be used for large areas like the legs or back.  

Fortunately, there are plenty of ways that we have to deal with the pain.

Our physician supervised laser center uses verbal anesthesia, a cryogen pulse microseconds before each laser zap, stress balls and ice. The combination of these three methods is very effective. As the hairs are reduced with each treatment, there is less and less pain. Most people feel that laser is less uncomfortable than waxing.

Other businesses that sell waxing, electric tweezers, and electrolysis, sometimes use euphemisms like discomfort and sensation. Many people will tell you hair removal occasionally hurts! Not all the time, but occasionally.

How Do You Discover the Truth?

What you really need is some type of computer polygraph of verification of claims when you go for a laser hair removal consultation at a chain. A complimentarily consultation is inevitably concluded with their hard sell sales pitch from the well trained “closer”.

Take this word of advice. Don’t finance through their high interest credit cards.

It’s the “Kiss of debt”.

There. I just saved you hundreds of dollars.

Another word of advice. Google has translation services. Why not ask for a Google verification of claims and promises. Unbelievably, that is in the works. 

Giovanni Luca Ciampagliahas has written about this in his article, “Computational Fact Checking from Knowledge Networks”. Now if that concept could only be extrapolated to the promises that our politicians make to get elected. 

Hmmmm again.

Realistically, all you need to do is a little research on the internet to find the truth.

It’s all there. Simply spend the time before you go for your initial consultation and save yourself a lot of frustration, time and money. YELP and Google reviews are helpful to find out what others have experienced.

You Need Straight Talk

Straight talk and realistic expectations are extremely indispensable during your original consultation. At a medical office, you are much more likely to receive this than at a laser business.

Dependable and safe laser hair removal is more likely to occur at a real physician’s office.

When considering laser hair removal, you must ask yourself is, “Am I basing my decision on the best treatment option and not on price alone?”

More importantly, you must ask yourself, “Am I taking this laser hair removal seriously enough?

Finally, understand why laser hair removal packages are better for them and not you.

Why do you think the laser chains and medi spas push them so hard? They don’t even give you the option of not buying laser hair removal packages.

Learn how you save money by not buying packages for laser hair removal at Happel Laser Hair Removal.

Statistics of Laser Hair Removal

We’ve talked about the lies and the damned lies.

Here are the statistics.

Between 2012 and 2013, the American Society of Plastic Surgery reported a decrease in laser hair removal from 1,118,254 treatments to 1,077,158 laser hair removal treatments. The American Society for dermatology reported an increase in laser hair removal procedures from 318,000 in 2012 to 464,000 in 2013. 

In 2009 the American Board of Plastic Surgery stated that the laser hair removal treatments performed in plastic surgeon’s offices alone translated into billions of dollars spent.

I believe that these statistics are not reflective of the total amount of laser hair procedures done in the United States.

With the flurry of laser treatments that are now done outside of a physician’s office, (in laser chains and med spas) these numbers largely underestimate the amount of laser hair removal performed in this country.

Conclusion

Confused? Inhibited? Put off? Don’t be.

How about just some plain straight talk when discussing laser hair removal?

Laser hair removal is now being commonly performed outside of approved medical facilities.

Because of marketing euphemisms, people are taking laser hair removal too lightly.

There are risks including burns, increased hair growth and even death from laser hair removal anesthetic overdoses.

Choose your laser hair removal center carefully.

We are proud that our physician’s office will not lie or soft soap the facts of laser hair removal.

Furthermore, our laser treatments at Happel Laser Hair Removal Center will cost you less because we do not push expensive packages.

Give us a call at 724-969-0600 to learn more and see laser hair removal is right for you at Happel Laser.

About The Author

Dr. John Happel

Dr. John Happel has been in practice as a surgeon since 1986 in the Pittsburgh region. He specializes in vascular surgery and has subspecialized in the treatment of varicose and spider veins since 1999. Dr. Happel is board certified in vascular surgery and recertified in vascular surgery in 2012. He was chosen in 1985 to fulfill the position for the vascular surgical fellowship at the world renowned Mayo Clinic.