How Laser Hair Removal Package Marketing Really Works

How Laser Hair Removal Package Marketing Really Works

To make a point, let’s first discuss what you should never do when considering having laser hair removal.

The following comments are made tongue-in-cheek to emphasize these points about laser hair removal package marketing.

What to Avoid When Considering Laser Hair Removal

  1. Buy packages from national laser chains that are on shaky financial grounds and are filing for bankruptcy. One laser hair removal company has recently already gone bankrupt in Pittsburgh. Click the links to learn the details of these large companies that can no longer pay for their expensive radio ads. Two dozen of Premiere Laser Spas satellites have already filed for bankruptcy across the nation.
  2. Always do what advertisers tell you to do. 128% of laser hair removal chains on the radio exaggerate. (Smiley face)
  3. Never go to a doctor’s office for your laser treatments. Anyone can do it.
  4. Go to the cheapest and closest laser hair removal office to your home. Regardless.
  5. Choose some pseudo-medical national laser chain instead of the safety of a doctor’s office.

Despite how ridiculous these points sound, people still do these crazy things. Don’t let yourself fall into these traps. It seems obvious. Regardless, many people don’t listen and later have laser hair removal buyer’s regret.

Now for Some Real Laser Hair Removal Advice

There are two terms that laser hair removal companies know would drive sales. Those words are “painless” and “permanent hair removal.” The FDA has ruled that they cannot legally use either of these words.

Any place that uses the following words or advertising techniques should be avoided like the plague.

None of these promises applies in terms of laser hair removal. Outfits that use these words in their advertising are not to be trusted. They are just like the cigarette companies who testified in front of Congress that their research showed that cigarettes are not addictive and are safe.

Beware of the following words in laser hair removal radio ads:

  • Guaranteed
  • 100% effective
  • Painless
  • Package deal
  • Two-for-one body areas treated for the price of one
  • Contract
  • Permanent hair removal … Laser is permanent hair reduction. Permanent hair reduction does not necessarily imply the elimination of all hairs in the treatment area.

Shady Marketing Techniques That You Should Avoid

Beware of  places that may drastically reduce prices to compete. That includes those that frequently offer Groupon deals. Do you really want to purchase a laser medical service with a Groupon deal?

Recent evidence shows that even during the recent recession that doctors offering services that are based on value over price alone will be the most successful. Beware of so-called creative laser hair removal package marketers who promise more than they can deliver.

Do NOT pay in advance for any laser hair removal treatment or service.

Repeat; do not prepay for services that you have not received.

What if you don’t like it or it doesn’t work as well as you expected? What if you are not satisfied for any reason?

What if they go bankrupt like a national laser hair removal chain with a satellite in Pittsburgh did. Those customers who prepaid lost thousands of dollars each! Another laser chain has recently filed for bankruptcy.

Closing Marketing Techniques Used by Laser Hair Removal Chains to Get You to Sign

If there is a special person that meets with you after you have been informed about laser hair removal, you are in trouble. They are “the closer”.

The closer’s job is to make you sign up that day. Their job is to make you sign up before you have had time to carefully read their complex legally binding contract. It has been very precisely worded and written by lawyers to limit your options.

Closers are the closest thing to con men or women because they manipulate you and the human capacity for greed and ignorance of their service. If you find yourself in the middle of one of these situations and you feel uncomfortable, just walk away.

Take their information home to think about it. Do not let anyone manipulate you into signing something that you may regret later. If you don’t understand exactly what they are saying, don’t sign anything.  Read about it when you get home. Don’t sign any contract while you are excited or on an impulse.

Beware of laser hair removal package marketing deals. These all require payment in advance. Ask for a money-back guarantee in writing. (They won’t do that). That should tell you something. Read the fine print before you sign anything!

Let’s look further into their “Closing” bag of tricks.  This list will just give you a taste of their practices. There are plenty more.

Deceptive and Dishonest Closing Techniques to Sell You Laser Hair Removal Packages

Here is just a partial list of some stupid laser hair removal marketing tricks:

Humor Close –They start with a joke to relax you

Treat Close – They tell you that you deserve to treat yourself after asking you about sacrifices you have made for others.

Yes-Set Close – They give you a number of questions that you can easily end by answering “yes” and then keep asking you questions until you say yes to their offer.

Alternative Close – They give you a limited number of choices and ask you to pick one

Affordable Close – They give you financing options like their own company’s credit card and tell you can easily pay it off in time. (Your financing through them maximizes their profit.)

Valued Customer Close- They give “only you” a special deal good for only “that day”

Ultimatum Close – They give you the negative consequences of not signing their contract

Calculator Close – They use a calculator to figure out your package deal savings

Summary Close – They go through a laundry list of all the “deals and discounts” that you will receive

Compliment Close – They woo you into signing up that day with a barrage of compliments

Puppy Close – Acting cute to promote sympathy towards them

Shame Close – They shame you into not buying

Shopping List Close – They go through a check off list of your needs

Quality Close – They tell you they are a national chain and the Nordstrom’s of laser hair removal

IQ Close – They tell you the smart people will take option x of all of the offered deals

Exclusivity Close – They say not everyone can have this offer

Embarrassment close – They make not signing up embarrassing


At our medical office, there are no laser hair removal closers. There are no salespeople.

Come to our doctor’s office where you will not get these hard-sell tactics.

National laser chains really don’t subscribe to a Hippocratic Oath. They don’t have a code of ethical behavior. They are simply businesses. Businesses are in business to make money.

Their first responsibility is to their shareholders and not to you. Be skeptical of their practices.

Call our respected doctor’s office at 724-969-0600 or contact us here to learn more.

About The Author

Dr. John Happel

Dr. John Happel has been in practice as a surgeon since 1986 in the Pittsburgh region. He specializes in vascular surgery and has subspecialized in the treatment of varicose and spider veins since 1999. Dr. Happel is board certified in vascular surgery and recertified in vascular surgery in 2012. He was chosen in 1985 to fulfill the position for the vascular surgical fellowship at the world renowned Mayo Clinic.

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